


Five Years And Still Counting

by bylbit



Category: VIXX
Genre: Cha Hakyeon | N-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 16:24:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bylbit/pseuds/bylbit
Summary: Hakyeon still can't believe that they've reached this far, but seeing the members, he was convinced that it was not just a dream.





	Five Years And Still Counting

Hakyeon watched as the other members enjoy themselves in the dead of the night. They didn’t have a schedule that day, and for that, Hakyeon is thankful. It has been harder these days, especially with the comeback and concert coming. They’ve been on edge since the start of the year, preparing for award ceremonies, having their individual schedules and such. Sure, the five years they’ve been together were mostly spent like this but Hakyeon can’t help but wander back to the time before their debut.

It was hard. Being a trainee is not what everyone thinks it is. You just don’t go around dancing and singing, there’s more to it than that. One should have extreme patience and perseverance to continue to aspire, even with the lack of assurance that one day, you can debut but as long as you have the chance, you have to grab it, make use of it and dream. That is one thing that made Hakyeon endure all the hardships, and another thing is the need to protect and guide the members. Hakyeon might have started off with only dreaming for himself, but his time spent with the members developed something in him that he never thought he has, leadership. He became the unofficial leader of the group even before debut, and he always see to it that everyone is improving.

But things don’t always go the way you hope it would. The joy of learning that they would be given a chance to debut was overcome with the anxiety that another three new trainees will joining and competing with them. At first, Hakyeon was a little anxious trusting the new ones, hence distancing himself a little, but how can he when they are all young and bursting with youthful hope? He still ended up caring for them, but not without a little push over, that being his strict and stern behavior during practices. What can he do though? That is his personality. They spent a good amount of time “competing” with each other, all the trainees. And when the time to announce who would be able to debut came, he didn’t know what to exactly feel. It is a given that he was happy to be chosen—of course he is, he has been hoping for that all his life as a trainee—but the painful fate that the other trainees had got to him. Though it’s a little too late to feel sad now, isn’t it?

His thought snapped back to the present time when he felt a head softly resting against his right shoulder, and was a little to not shocked to see that it was Taekwoon. On normal circumstances, the latter would never voluntarily initiate skinship with him, but seeing as Taekwoon did so eventually confirms that today is not so normal. Hakyeon lets Taekwoon rest on his shoulder, even tucking an arm behind him to secure that he won’t be uncomfortable. He knows that the main vocalist is stressed and tired and he feels guilty that he is not always there to comfort said vocalist. And that is one thing he hates when he has his individual schedules. He can’t be there when the members need him, and that makes him feel bad, about himself and about his ability as a good leader. But seeing as all the members are safely tucked around him in the warm vicinity of their dorm’s living room is enough to make him smile to himself. It has been too long indeed.

Hakyeon’s thoughts once again wander to the time when Taekwoon was too shy to even smile at the camera, during the few months after their debut. Taekwoon is shy, Hakyeon says every time someone pinpoints about Taekwoon’s behavior in variety shows, or even in fan meetings. He has been the unofficial spokesperson of the vocalist, but he doesn’t mind. To Hakyeon, it is not only his duty to make sure that each one of the members are comfortable and developing as a leader, but also as a good hyung. Although sometimes, the youngers make it hard for him. Taekwoon, for an instance, always rejects his skinship and cooing, and sometimes, the main vocalist tends to keep things to himself, hence not saying anything to anyone. It had been harder during the early months of their debut, where Taekwoon doesn’t seem to trust any of them with himself. It hurts, Hakyeon thought. But he understands where Taekwoon is coming from, and he doesn’t really have the full right to meddle with things regarding the young vocalist, not when Taekwoon doesn’t seem to trust him enough to voluntarily seek help from him. But that was before, the present is different.

Through the years, Taekwoon slowly started to open up to the world, with the help of Hakyeon and the members. He started to smile more and talk more. He became more comfortable with the noise brought upon by the members, sometimes joining them too. It was a very big step for Taekwoon, being the introverted boy he is, but it was worth it. Hakyeon can’t help but smile to himself. They really had come far.

“Our Taekwoonie.” The words softly left Hakyeon’s lips, but not softly enough to not be heard by the surprisingly sensitive ears of the one beside him to the left, Jaehwan.

“Hyung, you’re spacing out again and it seems like you’re thinking about Taekwoon hyung now.” The teasing tone of the third oldest is strong in his ears, but that wasn’t enough to erase the small smile decorating his lips.

“It’s nothing Jaehwan-ah. Don’t mind hyung.” Hakyeon continued.

Just then, his thought moved from Taekwoon to Jaehwan. Jaehwan is a different case from Taekwoon. Jaehwan, at the youthful age of twenty is quite confident with himself. He was one to talk and talk and talk that he has the capability to annoy someone in less than thirty minutes of talking. But Hakyeon—as he loves his Jaehwannie so much—can’t deny the fact that the soft looking main vocalist is very talented. Hakyeon can still feel the shiver that ran down his spine the first time he heard the younger sing and up till now, he can’t help but still be mesmerized once in a while whenever he hears Jaehwan sing.

But like any other young man out there, Jaehwan also has insecurities. Hakyeon knows, that behind those soft smiles is a young heart that gets hurt too every time someone says awful things about himself. He knows that Jaehwan is in doubt about himself at times, so that is why, Hakyeon—as the leader and oldest hyung of the group—does his everything to help Jaehwan do better. Hakyeon is well aware that Jaehwan almost quit being a trainee because he of his lack in dance skills, which is why he tries his very best to help him.

Hakyeon—being the supportive hyung he is—is now happy that Jaehwan seems to get through his insecurities. He notices that the third oldest is now more confident in his ability, not only in singing but also in dancing. It makes Hakyeon’s heart swell with joy seeing his dongsaeng smiling more carefree than before and all that is enough to repay Hakyeon’s sacrifices.

But then again, there is also sweet little Wonshik. Hakyeon looks at the purple-haired man situated on the floor, resting his back on Hakyeon’s knees. Wonshik is another thing Hakyeon is really thankful for. Without the rapper, Hakyeon wouldn’t be able to keep his mind sane. Just imagine all the weird things that the members do on a daily basis. Hakyeon made himself realize that if not for Wonshik’s deep understanding and hyung instincts, the group wouldn’t make it this far. The rapper always gives him great advice, after all. But Hakyeon knows that he is like that because he is the oldest in his family. All the other members are the youngest in their respective families, which somehow explains why they are all too childish for their ages. Even silent Taekwoon can be childish at times, with his child-like pranks and all.

With his dreams soaring high, Wonshik endured the hardship of being a trainee and continued to struggle to find success. And Hakyeon is certain that the rapper deserves all the things he has now. They have been pouring their hearts into everything they do, after all.

Hakyeon chuckles to himself. He has been thinking deep lately and he thinks that this is the effect of having all his schedules and all. He looked around him. All the other members are fast asleep, with Taekwoon beside him, resting his head against his shoulder, Jaehwan on his other side and head dangling dangerously from the couch’s armrest, Wonshik now sleeping soundly against the cold floor, the two youngest being in the—wait. Hakyeon sat up, carefully as to not disturb Taekwoon and Jaehwan in their slumber. The two youngest are not in the living room.

Slowly, Hakyeon walked up to the kitchen, seeing if any of the two is occupying the vast space, but all that greeted him is the silence that is almost deafening. He roamed his eyes, trying to see if somehow they are just playing a prank on him. Though all he saw was nothing. Slowly like a chill creeping in, worry evaded Hakyeon. He moved back to the living room, and then saw the hallway leading to the bedrooms. As he walked across the living room, he can’t help but look at the other three members sprawled on the couch and the floor. He walked—more like tip-toed—to the rooms.

He easily reached the door to Hongbin’s room. He was contemplating if he should knock or not, knowing that Hongbin hates people that are just barging into his room. For a couple of seconds, Hakyeon decided that it is indeed futile to knock, and so he did. A couple of minutes passed but no one answered Hakyeon. He slowly turned the knob and was surprised that it was not locked.

Popping his head inside, Hakyeon didn’t fail to notice that the inside was a complete darkness. None of the lamps were turned on. For quite a while, he worked to get himself used to the darkness. He forgot to take his phone with him—which was in the couch, if his memory serves him right—and so he doesn’t have a light source.

“Hongbin-ah.” He called out softly.

But he was answered with pregnant silence, for the second time. He pushed his way inside, leaving the door ajar in the hopes that some of the light in the living room will illuminate the room even just a little. As he looked to where he thought the bed is located, he noticed a lump figure on it, perhaps covered with a blanket, and was facing towards the wall.

Hakyeon—consumed with relief—walked over to it and gently sat on the bed. Yes. The lump figure turned out to be Hongbin, who was sleeping soundly. Hakyeon then remembered that Hongbin just got home yesterday from filming his drama and he figured that perhaps, the 24-hour sleep was yet not enough for the sassy visual.

Hakyeon didn’t fail to notice the slight crease on Hongbin’s forehead. And so he softly massaged the area in the hopes of making the crease vanish. These days, Hongbin has been working his body so hard and it pains Hakyeon to see that his dongsaeng is experience the unnecessary burden.

These thoughts brought Hakyeon back to the time when Hongbin ran home just before their debut showcase because of too much pressure. Hakyeon understands where the visual was coming from but he knows that it was just a phase and that if Hongbin quit that time, he would have regretted it. And so Hakyeon personally went to Hongbin’s place and convinced him to go back to him, to them. Hakyeon didn’t know if it was his words that made the visual come back, or the hope that was illuminating on him but he couldn’t care less, as long as Hongbin decided to come back. The relief that washed over all the members’ faces once they saw him with Hongbin was still etched in his mind. Hongbin was one of the first trainees Hakyeon got to know, and debuting with him, staying with him makes Hakyeon think that all the trouble he went through for Hongbin was worth it.

Once Hakyeon was sure that Hongbin was sleeping comfortably, he forced himself to slowly stand up, looking still at Hongbin and moved to go out of the four-cornered room. The door closed with a soft thud as Hakyeon went out. Now all that’s left is Sanghyuk.

With the softest of steps, Hakyeon walked up to Sanghyuk’s shared room with Wonshik. Light was illuminating behind the closed door as Hakyeon stood in front of it.

“Sanghyuk-ah?” He softly called out. A part of Hakyeon wasn’t expecting a reply—seeing as though it was already half passed midnight—but he was proven wrong when the door leading to the youngest’s room slowly opened and revealed a 184-centimeter-tall boy.

With sleepy eyes, the maknae looked at Hakyeon and said, “Yes, hyung?”

A soft smile broke out of Hakyeon’s face as he saw the maknae at his cutest form. “I was wondering where you’d go. I was worried when I realized at you were not in the living room.” He answered the youngest. “Can I come in?”

The only confirmation Hakyeon got was the soft gesture of the maknae’s hand, motioning for him to enter the room. He then settled himself on Wonshik’s bed and made his eyes roam the surroundings. Dirty clothes where sprawled on the floor, books wide open on the study table by Sanghyuk’s side of the bed, Wonshik’s laptop sitting on top of Wonshik’s table and bedsheets messily put upon both the beds. It was the complete opposite of Hongbin’s room, but Hakyeon can very well say that it was very—lived in.

“Were you sleeping?” Hakyeon’s soft voice floated across the silence as he looked at Sanghyuk who was then sitting on his side of the bed.

“Not really. I was chatting with my sister.” That was Sanghyuk’s reply. And it seems as though he was not yet finished because he was still clutching onto his hand phone, while he typed a couple of words before hitting the send button.

The maknae’s youthful eyes are still there, after all these time, Hakyeon noted. Five years ago, he saw a boy with potential and dream and five years later, he can see a man fully matured that is now living his dream. He figured that he was lucky to be able to witness the growth of the younger, he basically raised him after all. During nights gone bad, and Hakyeon was always there, doing his very best to assure the youngest that he was not alone, all of the other members are there for him, to guide him.

Sure, it wasn’t that easy to accept him at first. All the members where in doubt if the youngest would ever be able to catch up to them, and Hakyeon was one of them. But seeing as he is the leader, he pushed himself forget about the fact that Sanghyuk only trained for a few months and accepted him whole-heartedly. He knows that deep inside him, he will never be able to hate the boy, not with his cuteness, and that is when N-eomma was born. He pampered Sanghyuk with love, even to the extent where the maknae sometimes feels it’s too much.

Much to Hakyeon’s delight, all the other members slowly opened up to the youngest and that just made all the other things better. He was glad that he had given the boy a chance to prove himself, because seeing him five years later was very fulfilling. From an aspiring boy, Sanghyuk earned his confidence with the help of everyone around him. He became matured enough to decide fully for himself. But the thing that made Hakyeon a lot happier is that Sanghyuk never changed, yes, he became matured, but without losing the part of himself that Hakyeon learned to love—not that he doesn’t love Sanghyuk’s whole being though. He was still the same Hyukkie from years ago, the Hyukkie who loved teasing his hyungs, the Hyukkie who was VIXX’s youngest, the Hyukkie who is Hakyeon’s baby.

“Hyung, are you even listening to me?” Sanghyuk’s voice rang through Hakyeon’s ears as he snapped out of his trance. The youngest was looking at him with confusion written all over his face and that is only when he noticed that the youngest was only a foot away from him.

“Were you saying something?” He said slyly. The maknae’s lips formed into a pout—one that he surely learned from spending too much time with Jaehwan—as he smiled at him awkwardly.

“I was asking what you were doing here. And where are the others?”

“They’re all asleep, long gone into the dreamland.” He answered and slowly maneuvered the youngest so as to he was sitting beside Hakyeon.

He held Sanghyuk’s hands and brought it in front of them.

“Thank you.” Hakyeon blurted out without looking at the confused boy beside him.

“What for, hyung?” Came the reply, laced with confusion.

“For staying with me, with us, after all these years.” They ended up hugging with Sanghyuk still weirded out with his hyung’s sudden behavior, but continued to put his strong arms around the older, thinking that perhaps, his hyung needs a hug too, after all the hard work he did for the group.

And Hakyeon was glad for that. More so, when he realized that it will still be like this even after a decade or two from today. They worked hard in order to be at this point now. So many things were already sacrificed and it is now too late to turn back, to rethink of their life choices. Though, what else could they ask for? They are now living their dreams. But that doesn’t mean that they should stop dreaming, Hakyeon knows that. Because life is a continuous journey, it doesn’t stop at a certain point, not when you fail, and not when you succeed; it is something you should continue upholding. And Hakyeon did, they all did, after five years… and still counting.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This should have been posted yesterday for VIXX's 5th Anniversary but things happened so...


End file.
